<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>commit not alive by raindrxpsonrxses</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338509">commit not alive</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/raindrxpsonrxses/pseuds/raindrxpsonrxses'>raindrxpsonrxses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CountryHumans, Geography (Anthropomorphic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chatting &amp; Messaging, Group chat, Multi, Satire, Texting, Twitter, You hear me?, can’t believe you ugly bitches convinced me to do this, i don’t know what else you want me to say, i fucked ur wife good and hard, its a joke, it’s pretty gay??, it’s satire, this is a twitter / groupchat au, this is being posted IRONICALLY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:08:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/raindrxpsonrxses/pseuds/raindrxpsonrxses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>i’m on like 8 layers of irony rn</p><p> </p><p>(if you’re going to read this, don’t. not worth it)</p><p>(yes this is cringe yes yes i know yada yada doin ur mom doin ur mom doin ur mom)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>TBD - Relationship, idk man - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. slaughtering innocent civilians just to feel something 😔👊</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057122">countryhumans chatfic</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualhottubnacho/pseuds/casualhottubnacho">casualhottubnacho</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>kill me. do it now. this is my life’s low point.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>america is not allowed to change the chat name anymore</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>members:</p><p>gay ass (usa)</p><p>shut up about my dad (russia)</p><p>ger-money (germany)</p><p>maple cock and ball syrup (canada)</p><p>leg (france)</p><p>best korea (south korea)</p><p>best best korea (north korea)</p><p>anime tiddies uwu (japan)</p><p>daddy mao (china)</p><p>ayyy (brazil)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: wake up i have an announcement</p><p>
  <em>[read by all]</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>gay ass: guys 😔👊 stop ignoring me</p><p>
  <em>[read by all]</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>gay ass: i am going to commit a minor genocide in south america </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ayyy: NO???!!?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: stop leaving me on read then, dumbass</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: what do you want</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: love u too </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: i want you dead on a cross</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: what did you wanna say ? </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: THANK YOU canada</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: spit it out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: un wanted a meeting, he said meet in an hour, new yawk hq, he wanted me to tell everyone</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: but i’m tired o(╥﹏╥)o</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: how long ago did he say that</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: idk like an hour ago</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: i am going to wring your scrawny neck</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: migug i could not hate you more</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: 😘😘</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: hhh</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: HURRY UP AND GET REAUDJAJASJJSJS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: shut up i’m speeding</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: SPEED FASTER </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: i am like 5 seconds away from just not turning up</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ayyy: un will kill you lmao</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: and what ? i’ll just come right back and snap him in half like toothpick</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best korea: homicide, the solution to every single problem</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: is it rlly :/</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: yeah pretty much</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: ALLEMAGNE HURRY UP </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: you’re lucky i’m even giving you a ride</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: ALLEMAGNE</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: you are so fucking demanding</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: ALLEMAGNE I NEED TO PICK UP HAIR GEL ON THE WAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: i genuinely could not care less</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: ALLEMAGNE!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: MEIN GOTT!! SHUT THE FUCK UP IM ON MY WAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: south will you give me a ride 🥺</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best korea: sure 🥰</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: can i get a ride too</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best korea: LMAOOOOOO no get fucked</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: i love my sibling and my sibling loves me </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: get on the helicopter north.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: THANK YOU china </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: get off your phone and get in the fucking vehicle or i will leave without you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: lyt</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>yurop thots 😔👊</b>
</p><p> </p><p>members:</p><p>boss bitch ✨ (eu)</p><p>LET ME OUT (uk)</p><p>fancy whore (france)</p><p>greece you owe me money (germany)</p><p>meatböl (sweden)</p><p>elsa lookin ass (finland)</p><p>a man has fallen into the river in lego city (denmark)</p><p>yoghurt tasty (greece)</p><p>pure waffle (belgium)</p><p>MY DICK IS NOT THAT SMALL (luxembourg)</p><p>give me back the mona lisa &gt;:( (italy)</p><p>reminder to change ur bong water (netherlands)</p><p>fuck you uk (ireland)</p><p>stupid (spain)</p><p>i’m with stupid (portugal)</p><p>you’re all fucking stupid (austria)</p><p>greece is the only valid one here (cyprus)</p><p>currently punting myself into the sun (czechia)</p><p>nordics let me in (estonia)</p><p>insert pun about food here (hungary)</p><p>irelands potato plug (latvia)</p><p>killing myself 💯 (lithuania)</p><p>never gonna give you up (malta)</p><p>BABY !!! (poland)</p><p>czechia you are fucking stupid (slovakia)</p><p>not slovakia (slovenia)</p><p>stop forgetting about me guysd (bulgaria)</p><p>big tiddy vampire gf (romania)</p><p>croak croak (croatia)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>boss bitch ✨: all of you whores better be at the un meeting 🔫</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>croak croak: there was a meeting??</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>boss bitch ✨: yea? didn’t america tell u?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>croak croak: idk probably not</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>reminder to change ur bong water: we’re mostly here ithink</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>fancy whore: <em>@LET ME OUT </em>écosse just challenged russie to some kind of drinking game, control your bastard man</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>LET ME OUT: that little fuckign gremlin</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>yoghurt tasty: wait but who would win though 🤔🤔</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>you’re all fucking stupid: scotland sells alot of their whiskey to america iirc, so they probs have a lower tolerance</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>LET ME OUT: scott is never sober don’t underestimate them</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>BABY !!!: to be fair, neither is russia</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>LET ME OUT: god why can’t england just fucking annex them already</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>killing myself 💯: ....uh??</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>greece you owe me money: ffs</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>im with stupid: i sure hope that wasn’t supposed to be relatable </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>LET ME OUT: i hate being a political union jfc people forget i am also a sovereign state and these bitches need to keep in mind me nd my brother used to rule the fucking world i could kill them in an instant and i am close to it they are so fucking annoying i swear </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>currently punting myself into the sun: living up to the grumpy old grandad expectations</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>give me back the mona lisa &gt;:(: america was right you are grouchy</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>boss bitch ✨: how do you think i feel, you only join like 4 countries</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>LET ME OUT: fuck you eu you all keep stealing my fucking money let me out</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ireland’s potato plug: are we all here??</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>fancy whore: <em>@greece you owe me money</em> ISRAEL IS GETTING ABIT CLOSE TO PALESTINE ALLEMAGNE DISTRACT ONE OF THEM</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>greece you owe me money: why do you always ask me to do these things </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>greece you owe me money: österreich is capable</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>youre all fucking stupid: nah chief i’ll leave this one with you</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>stupid: colombia is cutting lines with argentina’s credit card in the corner should someone maybe put a stop to that</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>not slovakia: i’m sure they’re vibing leave them be</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>boss bitch ✨: everyone TURN YOUR PHONE OFF AND SOCIALISE goddamnit</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>meatböl: what are you, my dad</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>boss bitch ✨: i will revoke your rights </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>meatböl: mm daddy 🤩</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>a man has fallen into the river in lego city: okok muting the group now</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>translations:</p><p> </p><p>migug = america (romanised korean)</p><p>allemagne = germany (french)</p><p>mein gott! = my god! (german)</p><p>écosse = scotland (french)</p><p>russie = russia (french)</p><p>österreich = austria (german)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>i am using google translate for the translations, please correct me if i’m wrong. countries won’t always speak their native language when referring to other countries, but they do sometimes either as a sort of ‘term of endearment’ or to try and confuse them. because i think it’s funny, fuck you (if you want me to move the translations up to where the word is said to make it easier to read, let me know lmao)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. who even writes irl chapters these days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>cringefest irl section 💯💯✨✨😌😌👊👊👊🔫🔫🔫🔫💅💅💅🥰💅😔💅😔💅😘💯😘😎😎😎😎</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Canada twisted the bottom of his jacket round his fingers a few times, his other hand firmly holding America’s. He always got a bit nervous in the big group meetings, mainly because they were usually only held a few times a year. Ones at such short notice didn’t happen often unless there was some kind of emergency, so Canada had a reason to be more anxious than usual. America loved having the overprotective brother role anyway, so he didn’t feel bad following him around and holding onto him for support.</p><p> </p><p>A quick glance around the auditorium-like room showed it to be an utter shitfest, as expected. Someone had thrown a stack of files at the doorway moments before America walked in, making the brothers jump back slightly.</p><p> </p><p>The room was shaped like a theatre would be - seats arranged in a large, sweeping semicircle, looking almost kind of like church pews if you squinted, and a big stage at the front of the room. Unlike theatres, however, each row of seats also had a row of tables in front of them, and there was a huge empty space just in front of the stage, for god knows what reason. It was also much more accessible than your average theatre, due to the wheelchair ramps alongside the stairs, and the rails they could hold if they had trouble walking. Any writing on the wall usually had a braille accompaniment, unless it was graffiti.</p><p> </p><p>The place was a mess, with stains on the wooden floor and on the ceiling, somehow. There were holes in the drywall, presumably from where someone’s fist had hit it after too much Monster Energy, and some super old paper chain links hung in the light fixtures, looking like they were about to catch fire any second. There were also empty paper cups strewn about the floor, alongside a country’s body. Not new. He probably should have panicked at that, but the representations of countries didn’t die permanently unless they were losing a fatal war, had a crumbling economy with no hope of help, were halfway through dissolving, or were in the middle of a violent revolution. Their bodies behaved like immortal humans, otherwise. Keeping scars and disfigurements, but healing them enough to bring them back to life. </p><p> </p><p>It kinda sucked, honestly, having such a human body while being some kind of immortal.</p><p> </p><p>Upon closer inspection, Canada realised it was Japan who was currently lying dead on the floor. There was a bit of shattered glass nearby, and a small wound on the back of her head that was rapidly closing. Everyone else was cleverly avoiding the corpse, and Taiwan sat next to her with their legs crossed. They were reading a book, holding a bottle of water, which Canada guessed they would probably give to Japan once she was awake again.</p><p> </p><p>Canada heard a booming voice swear in a foreign language, and looked over to see Russia and Scotland downing shots at the speed of light. Scotland’s were yellow-amber in colour, while Russia’s were clear. Belarus and Ukraine were cheering on Russia, with Ireland screaming Scotland’s name and jumping up and down. Canada just managed to catch the United Kingdom trying to speed walk over, before his attention was drawn elsewhere.</p><p> </p><p>UN had stepped up onto the stage and was trying to catch people’s attention by clearing their throat repeatedly, but there was so much shit going on that no one really noticed. I mean, there were countries full on fucking brawling, that’s how much of a shitfest it was. Serbia was currently choking out some unfortunate country with their own tie, the two flailing about the seating area like fish out of water whilst Albania cheered them on. On closer inspection, the victim looked like one of his neighbours, which, yeah, not surprising, really. Ah, the Balkans. Such a peace loving group of countries.</p><p> </p><p>The countries all had designated seats so that everyone could see the stage where the organisations usually stood. At first, the seats had been labelled, and they were often moved around by a voting system if tensions between two countries rose too much. It was supposed to keep conflict to a minimum, but everyone kind of ignored this system, and now they just sit wherever they fancy. Some countries prefer to sit in certain places - Jamaica and the Netherlands almost always sit by the window, and Canada likes to join them sometimes, for, well. Reasons. I’m sure you can guess.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I have your attention, please?” The UN tried, but his mic was off, and every country was too busy doing their own thing to really care. The UK was dragging a severely drunk Scotland away from Russia, who was cheering in victory, and towards the seats, seeing as he had noticed the UN.</p><p> </p><p>America quirked an eyebrow above his sunglasses, making some sort of ‘obscured’ eye contact with the struggling union up on stage. He pulled Canada along as he crossed the sea of fighting countries in the empty area in front of the seats, flicking a switch on a large black box as the UN tapped his mic. An awful, squealing feedback was heard throughout the room, but it successfully quietened the rowdier countries, and everyone soon caught on that they should be sitting down soon.</p><p> </p><p>”This meeting is now in session!” The UN tapped a stick with a small carved ball taped onto it onto his stand. It was meant to resemble a gavel, but... It really didn’t. </p><p> </p><p>Counties scrambled to get to their preferred seats, Vietnam literally vaulting over Philippines to get to their seat next to Laos. Canada, in a somewhat calmer fashion, lowered themselves to sit next to America, who was laughing loudly at the sight of China faceplanting into the back of Pakistan’s chair. China flipped him off, before taking his seat next to Brazil. Japan, who by this point was up and running again, went to sit by Belgium, chattering excitedly with the other woman. Germany ended up next to the Korea twins, somehow, and looked about five seconds away from blowing his brains out. The locations most countries chose to sit in tended to be pretty far from geographically accurate, but no one could be bothered to care, really. Particularly when countries were fighting wars with their neighbours - it got messy, fast. This was also part of the reason why Poland didn’t like to sit anywhere between Germany and Russia - though he recognised it wasn’t them, not really, and that he was good friends with them now... Well, you get some level of PTSD from being literally ripped in half by the, shall we say, ‘parental figures’ (we use this term very, very loosely) of your best friends.</p><p> </p><p>On the stage behind UN sat a few other unions - namely: NATO, wearing his military gear and with a rifle strapped to his back; EU, their elaborate starry headpiece catching the light when they turned; ASEAN, sat by the computer, who kept tapping their shoe nervously on the edge of the stage; and African Union, her luscious green wings fluttering slightly with either excitement or nerves.</p><p> </p><p>UN adjusted the laurel wreath that sat on his head ever so slightly, clearing his throat into the microphone. “Can you all hear me?” The countries either nodded slightly or made small noises of assent. “Good.”</p><p> </p><p>”Well, welcome to the meeting! Are we all accounted for and present?”</p><p> </p><p>After some low-level chatter, Morocco piped up. “Antarctica isn’t here yet, and Greenland already told me they weren’t coming.”</p><p> </p><p>”Mhm, well, Antarctica told me they might be a bit late,” New Zealand started, “on account of, well. You know.” They waved their arms around awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone knew what they were talking about. The climate emergency, and all that. Most countries were feeling the effects - it was the reason for the faint smell of smoke emitted by Australia’s scorched clothes, and the wet hair and slightly breathless speech of Indonesia, and China’s occasional hacking coughs that cut through silence like a knife, and the oil stain that seemed to be permanently stuck on Norway’s face. Wildfires, sinking cities, pollution, the like. Antarctica’s landmass was quickly melting away, and unfortunately this had to be represented by the manifestation, as were the strange, strange laws of physics that allowed the country humans to exist at all. The last time Canada had seen his friend, they were in a wheelchair, their hands shaking and their skin far too pale, nose bleeding every time they got too worked up. Greenland was unfortunately on their way to a similar state, and most of the countries with territory inside the Arctic Circle knew full well why - Canada included. He hoped the humans sorted their shit out soon - he didn’t want to watch Antarctica melt away.</p><p> </p><p>There was actually a fair amount of countries who hardly showed up to the meetings. The last time Yemen was here, he was on an IV drip, and had collapsed halfway through, so WHO had to insist that he didn’t show up anymore, since it caused his frail body too much strain. Others who didn’t appear were either going through crises of their own, or just couldn’t be fucked, really.</p><p> </p><p>“We can record the meeting, and show it to them after? You know, like we normally do. I’ve got a camera!” South Korea suggested, holding North’s video camcorder in her hands, ignoring her brother’s icy cold glare and silent protest.</p><p> </p><p>”Great! Thank you for volunteering,” UN smiled. “This is almost a perfectly normal meeting, so there’s no need to be alarmed! We need to sort through a few international affairs, and of course if you have anything to report, do so now. Please, don’t worry.” The constant reassurance really wasn’t very reassuring at all, especially when paired with the fact that NATO was now worrying their lip between their teeth, and EU kept biting at their fingernails.</p><p> </p><p>”One of the issues raised last meeting was that of Brazilian crime rates, particularly those of substance abuse along the cities’ homeless population...”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bitchinnn</b>
</p><p> </p><p>members:</p><p>world peace, found dead in miami (america)</p><p>listen i would die for you oh my god (canada)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>world peace, found dead in miami: this shit boring asf</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>listen i would die for you oh my god: shshhh ASEAN is talking</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>world peace, found dead in miami: lmao nerd</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>“That concludes my presentation,” Finished Venezuela. Each meeting, different countries got to pick a subject they thought was important to speak about. Most of them had pre-prepared speeches anyway, and a powerpoint to go along with it that was projected onto the wall. Sometimes the crowd got violent during controversial topics, but, ehh. A lot of countries just tuned out the individual speeches or shouted abuse at the stage throughout them, because everyone is an asshole.</p><p> </p><p>ASEAN tapped the spacebar on the keyboard, changing the slide from one about being tolerant to different economic theories to a completely blank one as Venezuela made their way back to their seat, ignoring the Pepsi can that had been crumpled and thrown at their head. The countries who had been slouching, or not-very-inconspicuously doing drugs, straightened almost imperceptibly, staring at the projection. All of the other ones had a title, and now the UN had stopped speaking, in a dramatic pause that was far too long and far too dramatic. EU tapped his shoulder, the two communicating nonverbally through tiny twitches in their facial features, until the UN sighed and walked up to the microphone.</p><p> </p><p>”Thank you all for being so patient with us. Our last subject is... Well, my voice is tired, so I’ll let EU talk us through this one.” His voice obviously wasn’t tired. He was stressing out.</p><p> </p><p>The shouts, heckling, arguments and death threats that had been ongoing for the entire meeting hushed to an all-time quiet as EU tapped the microphone (that is to say, not very quiet at all). “Ah, hello.” They greeted, their accented voice trembling slightly. “This is a very unfortunate subject, and I would like to request that no county in here will resort to blaming others. What’s done is done, no?” They tried to smile, but no one bought it.</p><p> </p><p>ASEAN flicked onto the next slide. An image of a newspaper article sat in the middle of the screen.</p><p> </p><p>BREAKING! President Trump shown speaking with presumed cosplayer inside top secret area - whatever could this mean for the United States and their government? </p><p> </p><p>Featured was a slightly blurry picture of Donald Trump, grinning brightly and shaking hands with America, who looked like they’d rather be anywhere else, inside the president’s office.</p><p> </p><p>“Cosplayer?!” America complained, slightly too loud. “I am the United fucking States of America! Put some respect on my name!” China chuckled quietly at the look on his face, but everyone else looked shocked and terrified. America’s attempt at lightening the atmosphere failed almost laughably. Countries were swearing, and there was more movement than before - a couple of indignant cries were heard.</p><p> </p><p>”Yes, thank you, America,” the EU said in a slightly reprimanding voice. “Newspapers in your country are beginning to speculate - and, well, there’s more, unfortunately.”</p><p> </p><p>Next slide.</p><p> </p><p>It was a picture of Greece, clutching a stray ginger cat in their arms, Ukraine obviously laughing behind them. The photo had been taken on a phone camera, judging by the quality, and was under a tweet titled: “Seriously, why are so many people on Twitter reporting on people dressing up as literal countries? It’s weird, man.”</p><p> </p><p>The tweet had 60k retweets.</p><p> </p><p>”Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Canada heard someone close to their seat say, but they weren’t sure who. Oh God.</p><p> </p><p>Only the government officials knew that the country humans even existed. If word got out to the general public... Well, there would be speculations, and fear-mongering, and panic, and like always when it came to humans, stupid actions made without thinking things over first.</p><p> </p><p>Click. Click. Click.</p><p> </p><p>Each slide was a picture or an article or a video of the countries out and about. Clearly, this collection had been building for a long time. Some of the images were grainy or saturated, which raised some immediate concerns to do with how long this ‘crisis’ had been ongoing. This was bad. This was very, very bad.</p><p> </p><p>The last slide was full of headlines, all of them dated quite recently, speculating on the ‘internet phenomenon’ that had swept Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram alike.</p><p> </p><p>Swears in several languages echoed throughout the room once more, this time too loud to be brushed off or ignored, prompting the organisations on the stage to try their hand at some damage control - quickly.</p><p> </p><p>”Now, yes, okay, objectively, I know this looks bad!” EU waved their hands, probably trying to calm them down, but it really wasn’t doing much. “But that’s why this meeting was brought on so suddenly - apologies about that - so that we may work on a solution!”</p><p> </p><p>”There is no need for panic,” African Union tried to assure from her seat, a warm smile spreading across her face.</p><p> </p><p>Everybody panicked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>~timelapse~</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>eight bottles of milk on the wall</b>
</p><p> </p><p>members:</p><p>insufferable bastard (uk)</p><p>hockey puck directly to the penis (canada)</p><p>itawy owo (italy)</p><p>IM NOT A WEEB ITS MY FUCKING CULTURE (japan)</p><p>no longer committing war crimes (germany)</p><p>white flags make me hard (france)</p><p>CLEARLY the baddest bitch in this establishment (america)</p><p>simping for karl marx (russia)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>CLEARLY the baddest bitch in this establishment: ... what the hell we gon do now</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>itawy owo: that meeting was absolute shambles</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>IM NOT A WEEB ITS MY FUCKING CULTURE: did we even come to a conclusion as to what we would do or?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>simping for karl marx: un wanted to make a video for twitter with some of us making vague statements bc it’s funnier if we don’t outright tell the public what’s going on </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>white flags make me hard: which countries in the video though??</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>insufferable bastard: yk, the ones people would question if they were gone. superpowers n that</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>hockey puck directly to the penis: didnt suisse say the less controversial, the better??</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>no longer committing war crimes: yeah cuz we don’t want to start a witch-hunt </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>CLEARLY the baddest bitch in this establishment has removed simping for karl marx from the group</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>white flags make me hard: 😳😳</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>CLEARLY the baddest bitch in this establishment: no controversy in my group chat 😎😎</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>insufferable bastard: how many times do i have to repeat this ITS NOT G8 WITHOUT THE 8TH MEMBER, AMERICA</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>CLEARLY the baddest bitch in this establishment has added russia to the group </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>itawy owo has renamed russia to simping for karl marx</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>simping for karl marx: are you asking for a reboot of the cold war</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>CLEARLY the baddest bitch in this establishment: bitch i might be</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>simping for karl marx: 🔪🔪</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>translations:</p><p> </p><p>suisse = switzerland (french)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. killing all my best friends, call that ethnic cleansing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>america is not allowed to change the chat name anymore</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>members:</p><p>gay ass (usa)</p><p>shut up about my dad (russia)</p><p>ger-money (germany)</p><p>maple cock and ball syrup (canada)</p><p>leg (france)</p><p>best korea (south korea)</p><p>best best korea (north korea)</p><p>anime tiddies uwu (japan)</p><p>daddy mao (china)</p><p>ayyy (brazil)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: you wanna see some RËÆŁ ŠPĒĘD</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: how do you pronounce that. so many accents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: hey so quick question - what</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best korea: LEVAE BENSB ME ALOENE DEMON! DEMON! DEMON!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: REPENT</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best korea: NORTH PLEWSEJEHEHHSHSHSJSJSJSJ I CANT BREQTAGGE</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: ......kita what did you do......</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ayyy: oh my fuckign god she fucking dead</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>leg has changed best korea’s name to miss kiesha</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: mayhaps..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: why must you act this way</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: read my name bitch boy</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: read it n weep</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: hey, narcissism is a měiguó thing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: guys what does meiguo mean</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: ... i think it means america</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: WOW</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: china i will beat ur ass</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: do it, you won’t.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: pussy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: the punctuation...................... must you be so terrifying...........</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: yes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: watch it hoe i have more nukes</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: typical of you to use the nuclear excuse, as if me and leosia don’t also have an arsenal</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: i don’t even think you have the most, amerika</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: you’re just salty bc i won the cold war against ur pa</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: WOULD YOU TO READ MY NICKNAME AGAIN, IF YOU’D BE SO KIND?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: right right sorry</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ayyy: have we all collectively decided to forget north just killed his sister????</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: 🏃 🏃</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: is this a bruh moment</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: i think this is a bruh moment</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ayyy: it’s a bruh moment</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: shhhhhhutupshutup</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: he was sleeping you assholes</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: you woke up my baby brother</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: china i am going to brutally murder every person you care about, i want to personally witness your cold, cold heart crumble into oblivion</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: bold of you to assume i have a heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: fool. your lungs will cease function at 4:37pm, 6th july 2021.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: ohoho! i removed my lungs decades ago to make more room for ammunition! do not fear, friend, your reckoning will soon be upon you</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: 🗿</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: you truly believe you can stop me? i am a god, you pathetic worm. you are no more than dust in the wind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: then explain this</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: WHY DID I JU ST HEAR GUNSHOTS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: china has been eliminated</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: love you canada 🥰</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: ????thank you???? i love you too ?????????</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ger-money: you guys can’t just kill every country you disagree withsnsnnsnsnsamm&amp;jJjnjJjnj€^_&gt;%]&gt;]%\€£bUkwokwjayyYay7)&gt;_%[!\€</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>best best korea: yes we can lmao what planet are you on</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: germany?? </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: proved the whore’s point was incorrect 💅</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>ayyy: IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>argentina has joined the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>argentina: not yet you aren’t! </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>argentina has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: they’re dropping like FLIES</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: guys,,,,,,, really,,,,,,,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: at least allemagne will get some fucking sleep this way</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: WHK TOLD UKRAINEJEHSNA</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: BELARUSSIA NO</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: hey i thjnk someone killed belarus</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: jesus christ</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>miss kiesha: YOUR SAVIOUR HAS RETURNED</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>miss keisha: why is the un at my house </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: THEYRE ONTO US</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: go crazy go stupid </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: show them the chat</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>shut up about my dad: hiiii un lol 💕💕💕 how was your day 💕💕💕</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>gay ass: 🎵two trucks, havin sex🎵</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: un say hi to eu for me and tell them i am innocent in the crimes they have accused me of</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>maple cock and ball syrup: i am loosing my mind</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>miss kiesha: un wants you to know you make them suicidal</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>anime tiddies uwu: CRYJNGJESJJS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>daddy mao: i will literally commit every war crime in the book.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>miss kiesha: un put their head through the wall and then left</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>leg: ICONIC!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>translations:</p><p> </p><p>kita = north (romanised japanese)</p><p>měiguó = america (romanised mandarin chinese)</p><p>leosia = russia (romanised korean)</p><p>amerika = america (romanised russian)</p><p>allemagne = germany (french)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yo i heard theres gonna b some raid shit?? sometime soon?? if any raiders r seeinf this hi, hello, i shagged ur nan good and hard ❤️</p><p>i have a few more chapters written but i dont rlly care if this book gets mass reported/deleted or anything lmao. like i said its a joke. feel free 2, uhhhhhh, um, download it??? or something??? if u rlly wanna?? idk if thats a thing you can do but oh well</p><p>stay safe, if you use wattpad i think you can unpublish yr books?? idk shits wild</p><p>(maybe th raid will cleanse us of that godawful n@zi x genocidal maniac bullshit. like what the fuck 😃 i kinda sympathise w the polandball comic fuckers bcs like. What The Actual Fuck. also the romanticising colonisation, genocide + imperialism?? not very cash money At All bros i aint gnna lie)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. china thrives in the midst of destruction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>whoopss</p><p>if this is at all offensive please tell me and i will delete the chapter, i am actually an idiot and i promise i will try to do better in future chapters 🧍</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>sinosoviet alliance except we’re not fucking stupid this time</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>members:</p><p>literal ballerina (russia)</p><p>PUSSY (china)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: china</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: Китай</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: Китай Китай Китай Китай Китай Китай Китай Китай Китай</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>PUSSY: what.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: i’m on call w/ some euro fucks and austria just had the best idea </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>PUSSY: ok and?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: i need u to take partial responsibility if like. amerika gets pissed</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>PUSSY: what did you do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: NOTHING YETTAGAJJA</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: it’ll be funny i promise</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>PUSSY: follow through with your idea but don’t expect protection from me, bitchboy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>literal ballerina: &lt;/3</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>russia has created a chat</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>russia has added china to the chat</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>russia has named the chat: ‘amerikan controversy is my middle name’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>russia has added north korea to the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: ok so this isn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: KNEW I COULD CONVJNCE YOU</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: ...what the fuck?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: amerika fears us 😌💅</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: ok idk if i should be offended or </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: whore this is a COMPLIMENT</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>china has added iran to the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: SKSJSJSJAJNAJSNA</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: wait is this anti american action</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: apparently??</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: quickly NAME A SOCIALIST HELLHOLE</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>iran has added venezuela to the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: lmaooo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>venezuala: whats poppinggg</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: QUICK DOES AMERICA FIND YOU CONTROVERSIAL YES/NO</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>venezuala: imean. not as much as cuba? but he thinks my economy is shit which. rude</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: NEXT CALLERRR</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>north korea has added cuba</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>russia has kicked venezuala</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: bruh moment</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: it’s like where’s wally but with nuclear weapons, rising geopolitical tensions, authoritarian governments and ties to communism.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: CRYJNGFFFHSNSJS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: WHOS IDEA WAS THISSJSJSJ</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: 🏃💨⬅️</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: PAHAHAHA MY TURN</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>cuba has added syria to the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: AAA</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: I AM IN ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: Why would you add the blind guy question mark</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: you are all so fucking stupid oh my god. it’s almost funny.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: OH HEY SYRIA QUICKLY ADD AOMEONE AME HATES</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: Did you not read my first message I don’t know how to add people on this thing if i can’t see dickhead</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: HOW?? ARE YOU THPINGJDJD</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: Don’t keysmash you asshole I have text to speech and screen reader on</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: THIS CHAT IS HELL.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: not yet it isn’t </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>china has added philippines </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: CRYING</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>phillipines: me and joe are trying to improve relations</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>phillipines: fuck all of y’all honestly i cannot stand thjs</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>phillipines: kys</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>phillipines has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: RIP IN PIECES</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>cuba has added palestine to the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: No</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: IF YOU ADD TOO MANY MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRIES THE CHAT WILL IMPLODE</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: wait rlly 😳</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>palestine: the last time we tried, america joined, kicked a bunch of us, started random arguments and then left suddenly </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: you say the chat will implode?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: Do not</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: JUNG-GUG DODNTJSNSJS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: HOE DONT DO IT</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>china has added israel, saudi arabia, iraq, jordan, yemen, qatar, egypt, kuwait, oman and turkey to the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: OH MY GOD</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: [youdiditcrazysob.jpg]</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>israel: um</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>palestine: shut UP annoying ass </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>israel: kys palestine, or i’ll do it for you i swear </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>oman: ALL YOU LADIES POP YO PUSSY LIKE THIS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>yemen: guysd i’m killing my self </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>egypt: 🔪🔪🔪🔪</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>qatar: DONT STOP DONT MISS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: YEGIPET NO</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>saudi arabia: bitch i sell america oil we’re fine</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>north korea has removed saudi arabia from the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: I am going to cry</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>egypt: LET ME OUT</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>turkey: What The Fuck Is This</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>jordan: BITCH!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>jordan has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>kuwait: C R E E P E R</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>oman: OH MANN</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: no.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>qatar: oh okay then</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: I will literally bomb every single one of you despite the civil war</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>yemen: do you want me to cry. is that what you want china do you want my to cry</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: perhaps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: 😭😭😭😭😭</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>israel: yall ugly</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>israel has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>kuwait: wait actually he’s got the right idea i’m not looking to get crazy murdered by a superpower</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>kuwait has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: PLEASE KICK THE OTHERS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: wait this is funny though</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>egypt: kys kys kys kys</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iraq: kill me yourself you lazy bastard</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>egypt: BITCH I MIGHT</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: oh my god</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>yemen has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: This is awful</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia: 😭😭🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😭😭🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😭🤬🤬🤬😭😭😭😭😭😭</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: :).</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iran: [whosnotdeadsoundoff.jpg]</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>qatar has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>iraq has changed iran’s name to i🏃</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>i🏃: no</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>i🏃 has changed their name to running</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>russia has changed china’s name to demon spawn</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>demon spawn has changed russia’s name to fool.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>fool.: Well Okay Then</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: the final list is russia, china, north, me, iran, iraq, palestine, syria, turkey, oman and egypt</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>egypt has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: fuck you you fucking fuck fuck fuckhead kill yourself fucking fuck</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>turkey: i’m gonna. i’m gonna snitch</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>china: dont.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>turkey: AME WILL PROTEXT ME FROM U IF I ALSSK NICELT LMAOAKNANANA</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>turkey has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>fool.: YOUR fault @demon spawn</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>demon spawn: who created the group? not me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>running: YOU PURPOSEFULLY TRUED TO MAKE IT EXPLODE</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>syria: Why would you do that for ducks sake</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>demon spawn: ...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>demon spawn: for the funny.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>north korea: that was such a fucking shitshow oh my god</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>palestine: AMERICA IS EDGING SUSPICIOUSLY CLOSER TO MY HOUSE GUYSHDHSHSJS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>oman: for fucks SAKE, turkey</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>oman has left the chat</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>fool.: ...nice knowing you guys</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>cuba: kys</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>translations:</p><p> </p><p>amerika = america (romanised russian)</p><p>Китай = china (russian)</p><p>jung-gug = china (romanised korean)</p><p>yegipet = egypt (romanised russian)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my brain: the middle east is a very complex region with a lot of geopolitical tensions that you could not even hope to understand anytime soon. knowing the bare minimum about a maximum of 2 conflicts in the area is not enough for you to be able to make any kinds of jokes regarding the middle east.</p><p>me: haha american intervention in middle east bad heehoo aahahha </p><p> </p><p>(this is not a political book, i am not making a statement at all. my brain is nothing but dust ❤️ forgive my crimes)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>